Purpose

I realize after going through all this, i have the tendency to get into another relationship.. But all this come to senses that it is wrong and why am I rushing to be in just another relationship which I am not ready yet..

It is all infatuation

It is all my desire

It is all my hope

It is all me..

But in my heart, i believe God is telling me something else as a purpose of my life.. He tell me something greater than all of this that is Reaching Out For His Purpose rather than my own purpose.. Rather than my life alone..But His will and His life..

There are so many broken roads where it encourage me to just set back and follow these broken road but because of God who set me in the midst of all the Brothers and Sisters around me and also of Jesus Christ, His Son.. I am who i am now..

I am still at the broken road but God has smoother it along the way

I am not a person who rush to make decisions

I am not a person who only follow what i want

I am not the past kelvin which everyone knows

I am not serving for my purpose only but for God

However, there are so many uncertainty in my life where i ponder upon.. but it's just part of learning process where i should not worry of all this but uphold it to God..

Will i will be single or double?

Will i ever have a family of my own?

Will i ever be able to do what is right when it do happen?

Will i, will i and will i.. all this are things that hold me back..

But because of last night, i realize, friendship in Christ is what i need =) I've come to know that the line / barrier that i should set in a friendship so that I and everyone can grow.. Joshua Harris wrote the book "I kissed dating Goodbye" has really lead me to all this friendship and courtship as where i should be.. And i believe it's all what i have to learn to be a better brother in Christ and showing my love and care as a friends to everyone =)

Why must i care of all my worry while God is holding me in His arms?

Talk

Last night, I talked to my pastor who guided me when i was still a young Christian and i asked him, Why recently i feel dried and why am i doing all this? Is it I do it because it's responsible or i do it for God?

Then he asked me, can God revive you again?

I cannot answer..

And he say, of coz.. because you are thinking of what you feel only and this is what blocking Him from healing you and strengthening u innerly..

I really want to thank him for his advice and support..It do really strikes me a lot on " Am I trusting Him enough to take hold of my Life?"

Last night, it's been a life experience night between me and God and also people around me.. And i believe it will happen more as day pass..

I might not prepare for many things ahead, but I believe God will make the way like how He make the way for Moses to lead Israel =)

Today, I had the weirdest dream ever..Why? because tat dream happen just on the day i dream about it.. It's so wonderful to see how God works in each of everyone of us.. And I believe because of the past it is how we are today.. Being so united in Christ and true forgiveness is from the Lord Himself =) Everyone say ? AMEN!! Amen is the only word that can express my upmost gratitude for HIM!

TODAY, WE ARE ONE!! AND IT WILL BE FOREVER IN CHRIST !!

Running for Him

27/3/2010

I wasn't able to sleep the whole night and was wondering what makes me being into all this
sort of sleepless night.. It's been going on since tuesday and it's getting worse and worse as I din get enough of sleep..

But i dono why i still few energetic and still able to be awake for long hours.. but i know it's not healthy..

28/3/2010

Since i cannot get any sleep.. i chose to be awake til early morning and went for a jog.. I realize as i jog, im not able to catch my breath well.. I think it's because i don have enough rest for my body and spirit and i decide to take a view at the lake.. It's so wonderful to see the sun shine it's ray around the moutain.. ahhhh... i wish i were the mountain =) It's really beyond description on how God create this beauty..

After all this, i decide to jog to the finish point i set and i tell God this run is for You.. As i jog, i feel so strong and energetic throughout the way UNTIL i almost reach the finish line, i feel so weak and im losing my strength and I ask God, Why? and i ask Him again Why can't i run finish? Why can't i sleep and rest in Your arms? What's this all about? And again, i tell Him, no matter what i will run finish..

In the end, i finish the run, but as if i never even finish it.. I feel so empty within me.. Later, im playing guitar for the church worship and again i hope that God will fill me with His presence..

I believe I have more to run and it will never end until He take me to Heaven.. I want to recommit my life for Him and let Him lead me and guide me for He is my Potter..

Nature

Nature is one of the most wonderful thing God created around us.. Every time i look at nature, i will think of God and because of this i decide to jog everyday when im free from class =)


Today, when i jog, i keep singing His praises and talk to Him.. It's been a great experience and an enjoyable moment with the Lord.. But~ not to forget my buddy~ hehe.. Jensen and Shirley~ It's so wonderful to have them around when jog.. Shirley will make u relax..why? because she cant jog much =P but Jensen >.< pressure you coz he can jog a lot..haha..but it's been fun!

I've found out 1 thing from God.. Today when i look above the sky, i saw 2 birds. And it reminds me of God and you.. I've been looking at this particular bird where it always go in front and the other 1 is always behind and it reminds me that we always walk in front and God is always watching our very step behind us.. and suddenly i see the us flying other direction and God flying other direction, then when i ask God, why we depart from each other?? THEN! suddenly God fly back to me.. So it's like God will never leave you nor forsake you..It's true! =)


Every moment when i jog, i've decided to find something or seek God around =) i'd pray that 1 day, God will reveal His presence to me in the cloud by showing the Cross using cloud =) i always wish for that.. Jensen today talk about faith as small as a mustard seed.. I believe that if my faith can be that BIG i can see the cross.. and i hope that each of everyone of you can see "it"

God is always around us.. Is just that we don't realize it..

Psalms 23

The Lord is my sheperd,
I shall not be in want
He makes me lie down
in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house
of the Lord forever.

Dream

I've been dreaming much lately til it make me sleepless.. I've been wondering to God why He put me into all this dream and not letting me rest well.. I hardly can rest well recently..

Past few weeks, I've been dreaming of my past.. All the past which strangled me a lot seems so hard to overcome.. But as time pass, i see how God has work in my life.. Last week i dream of my past relationship

This week it's been different dream..can say 23/3/2010 precisely..haha.. This time i've been dreaming of one of my past which haunt me for 6 years before everything changed. That is gaming.. Now, whenever i think back, why i play game? is it so fun til it can light up my life? can i learn something from it? i don't think so if u ask me now.. i could have done more in His ministries then just gaming.. I could have care and love more for my friends besides me if i never get hook by games.. I could have study more and improve myself in many areas.. One word! Games don't bring future but God bring future..


I wonder will i dream more of my past again?

But i do believe what i dream now is something i need to ask for forgiveness from the Lord which is Lord over my life.. I will look it as a dream that can change my life forever in Him alone.. It has all been the past, i wonder if i can look or dream to the future that He want to give me



Well, i will always look forward even though have to suffer some sleepless night in the end.. But i believe God is working in me right now to bring everything back.. Now, i really hope my calendar of life can be given unto Him to look after.. and not me holding it back =)

God bless you all! and my frens~ and family~ and everyone in this world~

New Life + Hope

I just realize that for the past 2 years, i did so less for God in His ministry.

Last thursday, 28/3/2010 i really enjoyed the moment in Seremban, Rantau where i join Shirley's mom church youth camp..

I realize this is what i want to do from the day i come to kampar. If i never get hooked with computer games and other stuff i believe i'm doing many of this

However, it doesn't go the way i hope it want to be but i'd gone to another way which makes me much stronger in God and much tougher in dealing with things. This time, i can feel the assurance of God within me that He is leading me but i dono to where.. But it's this assurance that bring me where i am now.. I feel so a NEW!!

Now, i have so much strength where i want to use it for His Glory.. i hope i can do it more often like how i did in Seremban and Christian Fellowship. I also hope more of us can do this together =) it's really wonderful to see people life change in Christ and you yourselves change in Christ =)

I miss all the moment in Seremban and how everything come together there.. 90% of the campers are non-christian and it is a christian camp..How wonderful it is when u see everyone come to know God.. I believe God has moved among them and im glad that i can share my experience with them and draw closer with them to be able to guide them to the Purpose of Life!

Looking forward

Time has pass by so fast till we never realize
When we look back, you can see :

Success & Failures

Happy & Sad

Glorifying & Defamation

Trials & Lessons

but most of all,the question is whether you can see God working in your life every single moment and whether you remember what God has done in You which He is happy with or sad with the action you take? Give a thought about this.

It's not easy to overcome or to face trials but it is part of Christianity life where we must STAND firm for what we believe that is God. No matter how discourage the moment, how immature you act, you must face it with God because God is the one who can lift you up in times of trouble and He will renew your strength!

We are to learn to not to dwell in the past but see what is ahead because there are many great things that can be done and do not be blinded by the world. Brother and sister in Christ, its always a joy to serve God together in unity because Jesus is in us.

Laminin - is a protein that holds the body together
and this is laminin ----->

Therefore, Jesus is always the one that hold us together
and never let us fall to the depth that we cannot endure.

Let us serve Him with unity and with oneness =)


A song that always encourages me :

Jesus my help, I call on Your name
I cast my cares on You
Jesus my hope, my tower of strength
My faith is found in You

I see you pierced, wounded for me
When I look to the cross I see

I see grace, sealed by Your sacrifice
I see love reaching for me
Precious blood washes and sanctifies
Healing flows, setting me free
I see grace

Bearer of sin, afflicted and tried
You paid redemption's price
Bearing my curse, You've set me on high
Your death has brought me life